GEORGETOWN HIDES JESUS?

WASHINGTON, DC - Georgetown University has admitted to covering up symbols of Jesus Christ when President Barack Obama spoke there on Tuesday. Is that okay?

Georgetown, which is run by Jesuits, is the oldest Roman Catholic university in the United States, and still follows many Catholic traditions. Crucifixes can be found on many classroom walls, and University-owned buildings are barred from selling or distributing birth control products.

Georgetown staff have stated that they covered the monogram “IHS”, which symbolizes Jesus’s name, on stage while President Obama gave a speech. They said the White House had asked them to cover Georgetown signs and symbols on stage while he was there. What does this mean?

Some fear that Obama’s religious beliefs may be hollow, as made evident in his disrespect for his own savior. However, Jesus himself has issued a statement to clear the situation up.

“It’s hard to compete with the big JC. When you’re up on stage, President of the frickin’ United States, trying to tell people about your Big Plans, and all they’re looking at is my name right behind you? That’s tough, man,” said Jesus.

“What’s he gonna say, he’s got a new bill for eternal salvation? I’m a tough act to follow,” he laughed.

When asked if he felt any animosity towards Obama, Jesus shook his head. “Nah, he’s an alright guy. Did you see that wicked Easter egg hunt they had on the lawn, celebrating my resurrection? All talking into the rabbit’s ears? I definitely LOLed.”